Best Names in College Football 2023: Key and Peele Sketch Brought to Life By Remarkable Collection of Players

Best Names in College Football
Best Names in College Football

It has become a customary part of the off-season to scan the college football scene to find the most outrageous names possible. Why does this sport draw in the most unique of namesets? No one is certain, but it doesn’t stop an influx of wild and whacky youngsters from being snapped up, all hoping for chance to break into the NFL. Join us as we take a look at the best names in college football for 2023.

Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele immortalised the conversation surrounding football and unique names in their ‘East/West College Bowl’ sketch.

If you are lucky enough not to have seen it yet, you are truly in for a treat. Hypothetical names such as ‘D’Jasper Probincrux III’, ‘Davoin Shower-Handel’ and ‘Hingle McCringleberry’ are of course a comical amplification of the names we see in real life, but you would be surprised how close they are to some of this year’s cohort.

With that in mind, let’s get into some of 2023’s notable, distinctive and frankly peculiar names.

Best Names in College Football 2023

Pig Cage – USTA Roadrunners

A former Nicholls Colonels and LSU Tigers linebacker, Pig now plys his trade at USTA Roadrunners.

They will be hoping to un-CAGE (sorry) him in his third season.

Best Names in College Football

Fish McWilliams – UAB

What possessed his parents to name him ‘Fish’ is beyond us, but we think it suits him. Just look at that adorable face, tell me he isn’t a ‘Fish’.

Tiger Shanks – UNLV

Moving onto a player whose name doesn’t quite match his appearance is Tiger Shanks, who features for UNLV Rebels in his sophomore year this season.

Best Names in College Football

Moh Bility – UNT

Surely you are pulling our leg? Nope, this is his actual name.

He was somewhat I-Moh-bile (sorry again) last season after being redshirted.

General Booty – Oklahoma 

If you thought it couldn’t get any better than Moh Bility, it just did.

Kool-Aid McKinstry – Alabama Crimson Tide

Hazard a guess what Mr and Mrs McKinstry’s favourite beverage is?

The 20-year-old’s real name is Ga’Quincy, but his mother gave him the nickname at birth and it has stuck ever since.

Best Names In College Football

Decoldest Crawford – Louisiana Tech

The coldest, sorry, DEcoldest Crawford will swap the Great Plains for the swamps of Louisiana beginning next season.

Rowdy Beers – FIU

I’m sure no one loves a few rowdy beers with the boys on a Friday night more than FIU’s Rowdy Beers.


Parker Titsworth – Ohio

We’ll let you decipher what we found funny about this one.

2021 11 26 FB vs Bowling Green CM 018

Honorable Mentions

  • Juice Scruggs
  • Nemo Squire
  • Demon Clowney
  • Boobie Curry
  • Tonka Hemingway
  • Meatball Smith
  • Hot Rid Fitten
  • Blazen Lono-Wong
  • Squirrel White
  • Hannes Hammer

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