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Jermain Defoe is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

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Rudolph, you loveable reindeer, you. No list of Christmas characters would be complete without a mention of Rudolph and it was slightly tricky picking who would represent him in this list.

None of Santa’s other reindeer (all playing monopoly) take a liking to Rudolph because of his rosy nose, but Santa (in his underwear of course) picks him anyways to lead the pack on Christmas eve, and lead the pack he does. It’s only when he leads the pack at night that those fickle other 7 reindeer come to love him and I think that’s why this one was difficult.

There are so many premier league players, managers, and teams who could fit this bill. At first I thought Rooney because really, a lot of people do not like him. But Rooney is classic case of either you love him or you hate him and so I thought that it wouldn’t be fair to make him Rudolph. There was also Birmingham who have very quietly found themselves in 7th place, but nobody really hates them, and nobody really talks about them either.

The reason I chose Defoe is quite simple, actually; his performances this season have warranted him a spot in the England side. If he keeps up this pace, he’ll have 38 goals by the end of the season. We can’t forget, of course, that five of his 13 goals this season came in one match, but they count regardless.

Even if we take those five goals away, Defoe still ranks in the top 6 in goals scored in the premier league, which is only behind two other Englishmen on the list named Bent and Rooney. If he doesn’t get a spot in the England team for the World Cup, it will be a disappointment considering his goal a game scoring rate.

I didn’t quite know how to explain the shiny nose part. The only thing I could think of is that he’s awfully short and that had to have gotten him bullied in school by the likes of Prancer and Dancer (but really, with names like that, who are they to bully him?). In this case, let’s hope that Santa Capello gives him a shot to lead the pack because he is certainly capable of guiding the way.

Back to the “Footballers as Christmas Characters” article.

Also See: Soccerlens’ Christmas Babes.

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