Oh god, do you remember the terribly over drawn Robinho transfer saga and his final day move to Man City off the back of their mega money takeover?
Have you ever wondered what life would be like with Robinho amongst our ranks? I have… and this is what I have come up with.
Just say on August 30 we sign him, beating Manchester City to the deal – they are still mega rich, they just didn’t poach him. He joins the team, and hundreds of fans order a Robinho shirt for real. Scolari insists he will be a success, and Brazilian compatriot Alex welcomes him into training. So far so good…
Robinho debuts in the Premier League against none other than…Manchester City. Oh, the ironic twist of writing opinon articles like these…
He is an instant success, scoring a scorching goal off a fantastic dribble, to immediately introduce himself good and proper to the Shed End. Scolari hails his contribution.
He plays against Manchester United, and fails to score and his replacement Kalou scores the equaliser.
He enjoys a good run from October to December, scoring six goals (taking them away from Anelka, who fails to play as many games as he really did). Chelsea fans are hailing Scolari, saying he is a tactical genius and masterclass in the transfer market.
Then…we fail to beat Newcastle. And Arsenal. And West Ham. And Everton. And Fulham. And Man Utd.
Oh dear. A bit quiet on the Scolari front and the Robinho front, the Brazilians lacking the touch that the Blues were hailing.
Then, Robinho sparks flying back into life against Liverpool. Lampard isn’t sent off and we rampage against the Reds 5-0, Robinho scoring four.
Our killer run continues as Robinho chases the things he’s always dreamt about it, ever since he joined Santos. Trophies. And so we climb to the summit of the Premier League and Champions League, conquering the two mountains with our little midget running riot. Scolari is given a five year contract and is hailed the Special Brazilian One. Cliches abound, but the only thing that matters is that Robinho was such a good transfer…
Oh, who am I kidding? It could’ve all been so different if we hadn’t been pipped at the post.
But hey, who wouldn’t want Hiddink at the helm? It’s been so fun with him…
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