Home April Fools Day

April Fools Day

Since April 2007, Soccerlens puts up a series of harmless, fun (for others if not for the supporters of a particular club) fake news items every 1st April. Here they are – read, enjoy, and and join in next time if you’re interested.

Tottenham plan stupendous Premier League title heist against Arsenal, United and co.

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Secret plans recovered from incinerators next to White Hart Lane (allegedly used by Tottenham to destroy incriminating evidence against Harry Redknapp) have revealed an...

Chelsea appoint John Terry as player-manager as Terry promises ‘no slipups’ in Champions League

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Roman Abramovich Chelsea have appointed John Terry as player manager with immediate effect, with the board highlighting his fantastic team talks and tactical input...

Manchester City owners complete Barclays takeover, dock Manchester United 100 points

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Manchester City's owners completed their takeover of Barclays Bank this morning and immediately set about ringing some changes that will shake the very foundations...

Capello to hand captaincy to Gareth Ainsworth for Switzerland qualifier

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In order to avoid a repeat of the media circus surrounding the issue of the England captaincy, Fabio Capello has pre-emptively named his next...

Real Madrid promise £100m for Cristiano Ronaldo – Manchester United cash in

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The article below is an April Fools Joke. The real story of Cristiano Ronaldo's transfer to Madrid is here. In the most expensive transfer in...

Tottenham confirm bargain £30m deal for 4 Manchester United players

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Juande Ramos has decided to splash the cash in Manchester United's direction with Tottenham picking up a host of stars from the Manchester United...

Chelsea confirm deal for £30m Manchester United defender

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Chelsea have reached an agreement with debt-ridden Manchester United to buy the England and Manchester United captain, Rio Ferdinand. Rio Ferdinand will cost Chelsea £30m,...

Arsenal to buy Manchester United duo for £30m

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Arsenal have decided to bolster their squad by splashing big for the first time under Monsieur Wenger. Backed by Alisher Usmanov's millions, Arsenal will...

Usmanov buys out Arsenal board, DD returns with JM as AW and CF jet...

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In a stunning takeover, Alisher Usmanov has bought out Stan Kroenke AND the Arsenal board, giving him ownership of more than 80% of Arsenal...

Manchester United to sell players and stadium to pay off £700m debt

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BURIED under mountains of debt and interest payments, Manchester United's American owners have decided to cash in their star players and get rid of...

Liverpool fans consortium confirms £500m bid for Liverpool FC

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A consortium of Liverpool fans have outlined their plans for buying out Tom Hicks and George Gillett for a staggering £500m, making a fan-based...

Roman Abramovich to SELL Chelsea and go back HOME

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Chelsea have been the most successful club in the Premier League ever since Roman Abramovich took over - 2 back-to-back titles and if the...

Premier League punish Newcastle United with 20 point penalty

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The Premier League have slapped a 20 point penalty on Newcastle United, condemning them to certain relegation this season. The huge penalty leaves Newcastle United...

April Fools’ Day at Soccerlens

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Yes my friends, it's that time of the year when people pull pranks on each other and take great pride in it. This is not...

Fabregas: Arsenal can only hope for 2nd place next season

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In his typically level-headed and calm way, Fabregas has admitted that the current Arsenal squad is not good enough to win the Premiership next...

Bale: I won’t learn anything at Tottenham

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Gareth Bale, Wales international and Southampton star left back, has hit back at rumours that he would favor a move to Tottenham. Bale is now...

Abramovich sells Robben; “Real Madrid made Chelsea an offer I couldn’t refuse”

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In a sign of things to come, Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has admitted in a candid interview that he has accepted a Real Madrid...

Abramovich: “Chelsea is bigger than Mourinho, I love Chelsea fans”

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Roman Abramovich has finally spoken - and his first interview revealed Chelsea secrets and a surprisingly warm affection for Chelsea fans. Abramovich talked about Chelsea's...

Gill: McClaren in frame for Manchester United job

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David Gill has responded to Ferguson's desire to retire at the end of this season by naming an unlikely candidate as successor: Steve McClaren. During a...

Nani: Tottenham are not a big club

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Popular transfer target Nani has spoken out on the clubs chasing his signature, and it's not good news for Tottenham fans. Nani talked candidly about...

Ronaldo exclusive: Manchester United can’t keep me here against my wishes

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Cristiano Ronaldo has broken his silence and Ferguson's gag-order over transfer speculation and has boldly claimed that "Manchester United can't keep me here against...

Shepherd: Newcastle to sell Owen to generate funds

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The Newcastle chairman has never been a popular figure with Newcastle fans, but this is bound to get him a lynching. After brokering the deal...

Gerrard: Liverpool’s success depends on me playing in the middle

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Steven Gerrard - Liverpool and England talisman - has hit out at Rafa Benitez after Liverpool's 4-1 win over Arsenal. He's particularly distressed at Rafa's...

Ferguson: I’ll retire after Manchester United win the treble

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In a hard-hitting interview, Sir Alex Ferguson has admitted that if Manchester United win the treble this season, he will considering retiring on a...