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Nani Is 1,600 Times More Intelligent Than Arsene Wenger

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Earlier today, Manchester United’s flimsy winger Nani traversed out on to a limb and effectively dismissed second-placed Arsenal’s Premier League aspirations by proclaiming fourth-place Chelsea as his side’s only serious title rivals.

Under questioning, the Portuguese international replied that he is only able to foresee two clubs being genuinely involved in the hunt come the end of May:

“I no longer see anybody winning the Premier League this season outside of Manchester United or Chelsea. Hopefully, it will be United.”

This brazen snubbery understandably riled Arsenal’s manager Arsene Wenger, who duly used the press conference he had scheduled to preview the Gunners’ upcoming clash with Chelsea as a platform to sarcastically respond to Nani’s indirect jibe:

“Everybody has a different opinion in this league and nobody is perfect.

We live in a society where everybody knows everything and it is a shame to say, ‘I don’t know’.

I personally don’t know who will win the league and I have managed 1,600 games. If Nani knows he must be 1,600 times more intelligent than I am.”

If lying face down, screaming into the turf  whilst clutching at non-existent injuries is a sign of intelligence, then I’m fully inclined to go along with Mr Wenger on this one.