French Government (Yes, Government!) Launch World Cup Probe

In ‘slightly over-dramatic reaction’ news, the French government (yes, you heard that right!) are to launch an enquiry into their national football team’s disastrous showing at the 2010 World Cup.

France captain Patrice Evra told TF1;

“An investigation will be opened by the ministry and all the players will be heard.

Each one of us will say what they experienced and will say the truth.

Everyone will give some information from each angle and all sides.”

Evra has already vowed to ‘reveal the truth’ about Les Bleus’ tumultuous campaign, but the Manchester United man insists that the wounds are still too fresh for him to air his shocking revelations;

“It’s not the time to stoke up the pain of all the French people. It’s not today that you have to attack whoever it may be.

No-one is clear-headed enough to say what really happened because the scar is still open and we are all hurting at the present time. We are all upset and beaten, but we have to lift our heads up and look to the future.”

Evra also admitted the squad were wrong to boycott training over Nicolas Anelka‘s well-publicised expulsion, but insisted the whole squad felt it was the right thing to do at the time;

“It was a clumsy gesture and we apologised for it but let it be clear, it was a group decision.

When there was this moment of hesitation where any one of us could have got off the bus, the group remained united, no-one wanted to get off and I tell you that with total honesty and I hope that everyone remains honest.

We regretted the impact it had. But we were in such a state that sometimes, for love, you can do clumsy gestures.”

You can always rely on the French for a bit of needless melodrama.

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