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The phone conversation after City’s takeover





We sold the club.

Finally that Thai cunt is gone. The only thing worse than a Thai cunt is an Arab cunt. Who’d you pawn us off to Garry?

Mark, you’re on a conference call with Dr Suleiman Al Fahim, a representative of our new majority owners, Abu Dhabi United Group. He wants to ask you a few questions.

Mark? Are you still with us?

Yes Garry, what can I do for you and Mr…

It’s Dr Al-Fahim, Mr Hughes. As you know we have less than a day left before your transfer window closes. Who would you like to sign?

Excuse me?

Who would you like to sign?

How much money are we talking about?

No, you don’t understand me. Tell me who you want to sign and we’ll go get him.

Ok, get me Santa Cruz.

Erm Mark, I don’t think we’re aiming for the UEFA Cup this season.

What do you mean?

Mr Hughes, we want to play in the Champions League next season. So I ask you again – if you could have any player in the world, who would you sign?

Ok, get me Berbatov.

Click. 3 minutes pass by before it rings again.

Mark, it’s Garry.

What happened?

Just got off the phone with Levy. He’s accepted our offer for Berbatov.

You what? They’re asking for millions…

And we have millions. Mr Hughes. Many millions. Now, who else do you want?

…Ok, get me Alonso or Vieira, and one of Villa, Gomez and Eto’o. And bag that boy Ustari if you can.

Anything else?

Yea, how about a pay raise?