Peter Crouch is NOT a great striker

When you mention the Peter Crouch and goal-scoring records in the same breath I’m not only forced to choke on my breakfast, I lose my appetite for the rest of the day as well.

Are we deliberately playing the ridiculous card here?

Granted, Stevie G probably just said it to boost Crouchie’s morale, but the way everyone has run with the story is shameful.

Here’s a guy who scored a hatful of goals against…wait for it…Greece, Andorra, Jamaica and Trinidad & Tobago. Crouch has the enviable record of scoring 6 goals in the last three games outside the World Cup – although once you look at the quality of the opposition you wonder what sort of denigration the Liverpool striker would have gone through if he had NOT scored.

No need to wonder though – this is the same Peter Crouch who got yellow-carded against Paraguay because he, with all his height, was using his hands to jump above the opposition for high-balls, and couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo for most of the World Cup.

What should you be considering now? Crouchie’s goal against West Ham that gave Liverpool a 2-1, or his countless excruciating misses for Liverpool ever since he has joined them?

Crouch has a solid technique and a good footballing brain, but this is no star striker – regardless of what Liverpool fans and his Liverpool team-mates say.

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