Manchester United Settle On Seville For OT Opener

It may be a sign of Manchester United’s fading fortunes in Europe that they were not able to secure a match with any of the European heavyweight clubs for the official opening of the expanded Old Trafford stadium (at 76,000 seats Manchester United will boast the biggest stadium in England) and had to settle for UEFA Cup Winners Seville.

Let me be clear – Seville are not a bad club per se (even if they did win their title by beating Stevie’s Middlesbrough) but they are not on an equal footing with Manchester United. Before the end of the season fans had been treated to tentative rumours of Juventus (now under investigation), Barcelona (too busy after winning the damn Champions League), Bayern Munich and Real Madrid (dates clash, no president) travelling to Old Trafford for the stadium opene.

After hoping for something that grand, being stuck with Seville is like waking up the next morning and finding out that the girl you picked up last night was a 50-year old one-legged hag.

The stadium opener will be played on August 12, and with Manchester United hoping to make it into a money-spinning opportunity (although how they will entice fans to come watch them play against Seville is anyone’s guess) by turning it into a festival and … well, read the details here.

Hey Ferguson…maybe you can schedule a boxing match between Rooney and Ronaldo (assuming Ronaldo is still there on August 12 and hasn’t tried to get Rooney sent off again) as part of the post-match celebrations?

And please, can we win this one? Not like Roy Keane’s testimonial where the goal seemed conspicuously setup (one goal, in the second half, setup by Keane and slotted in by Ronaldo) but an actual win that announces our intentions to Europe (and all that?)?

Thank You.

Old Trafford. August 12. Seville. Seville Who?

Oh hell…