3 reasons why Ribery is NOT going to Tottenham

The following post contains heavy doses of sarcasm and leg-pulling. Take it on the chin folks, after all, it’s all true 🙂

Ya know, once in a while, some realism would be nice.

The rumours linking Franc Ribery to Tottenham persist despite this author’s best efforts to shoot them down as trash. This is not to mean that Tottenham are a poor club – no sir, they are a growing club with excellent potential and as it has been so eloquently said, a left-winger and right-back (and a 4th striker) away from true greatness.

However, what people really fail to understand is that Ribery cannot, will not, and should not come to Tottenham. There are plenty of reasons, but I’ll stick to just three for now.

Reason No. 1

The will-not – Franc Ribery has openly stated that he wants to play in the Champions League, and Tottenham cannot offer it this year. While I agree that Tottenham are just a season away from it, Ribery has made it clear that he can’t wait.

Reason No. 2

The should-not – This one is a bitter pill to swallow, but the reality is that if Ribery wants to have a long, prosperous career, he shouldn’t head towards Tottenham. Not that he would have a bad career there – hell no. Rather, I say this because he’s already a big star, and would disrupt Tottenham’s plans for fostering team spirit and growing the team together. Plus he’s a diver, and we don’t want dirty players corrupting our youth at Tottenham (look what happened to Arsenal – even Henry is diving now!)

Reason No. 3

The can-not – This is also true, actually. Ribery can’t go to Tottenham because his agent is insisting on getting paid to convince his client, and Tottenham, being such an upright and honest club, would never dare to break the law in this case. Unfortunately for all football-loving fans, that makes it impossible for us to see Ribery grace White Hart Lane.

Satisfied? Can we please drop the false rumours now, and concentrate on something more concrete, such as Mido’s supposed medical, selling Andy Reid and the non-transfers of Petrov, Downing and Chimbonda?


Disclaimer Part 1: Of course, the real reason Ribery is not going to Tottenham is because you guys are not as good as Lyon, Arsenal, Manchester United or Real Madrid. Oh, and he’s never heard of Tottenham either. 🙂

Disclaimer Part 2: I like Tottenham, I really do, plus I’m a Manchester United fan, not an Arsenal fan for all of you readying their nasty comments 🙂

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