Straight from The Offside, with gems such as:
If an agent says “This kid is the next….” It means….
“David Beckham”… “No left foot, looks good in his underwear.”
Or when an agent says…. It means….
“Arsene is interested” … “My client is fifteen.”
When a manager says…. It means….
“The acquisition of this experienced international shows our commitment to building the team.” … “He’s played two games for Faroe Islands. That’s all we can afford. We are so screwed.”